Deez nuts is an expression that is utilized to upset or redirect discussions purposefully. It’s anything but a genuine reference to the gonads, however it is utilized to metaphorically muddle and dishonor any conversation that is occurring.
Do you like listening to songs by Imagine Dragons?
Yeah, sure.
Imagine dragging deez nuts over your head!
I didn’t see where that was headed, but I still love Imagine Dragons!
Teacher: In all your subjects I am giving you D’s.
Student: Well, I am also going to be giving you D’s.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: Deez nuts!
And that’s how the student got suspended for 3 days.
Do you wanna play?
Play with what?
Play with deez nuts!
How romantic. Is that how you end your date nights?
Hey, I heard that you are a huge fan of Dee.
Dee who?
Deez nuts!
And I thought it was Dee Dee from Dexter’s Laboratory!
Do you like CDs?
CDs?
See deez nuts!
I was talking about music!
Do you know Landon?
Landon who?
Trip, fall and landon deez nuts!
Be careful! You wouldn’t want to land on someone’s nuts!
Do you like parodies?
Yes.
How would you like a pair of deez nuts?!
I’d rather watch movie parodies on SNL!
You want a pizza?
Pizza?
Pizza deez nuts!
Hey, some people want a piece of deez nuts over pizza!
Do you like Wendy’s
Yes.
Then you’ll love when deez nuts hit your face!
I’d rather have a burger and fries.
You need to shut up before you end up like Ken.
Ken who?
Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Poor Ken! I don’t want to end up like him!
Customer: Are your breads freshly baked?
Baker: Yes.
Customer: Can I get a sample of something?
Baker: Sure, what would you like to try?
Customer: I wonder how deez nuts taste!
That’s one way to be thrown out of a bakery!
Have you ever been to Chewons?
No. What’s Chewons?
Chew on deez nuts!
That’s not what I was thinking!
Did you like the plot of the movie?
No, we can come up with a better one.
So you want to come and film deez nuts?!
Who said anything about nuts?
Have you ever gone to a trade expo?
Yes, I love expos.
Expose deez nuts!
Is there such a thing as a nuts expo? And no, I don’t mean your nuts!
Hey, are you hungry or thirsty?
I’m thirsty/hungry.
You can have some of deez nuts.
I don’t need nuts. I want to drink water!
Did you like One Direction?
Yes.
That’s great! The only direction deez nuts are going is in your mouth!
No, thanks! I’m going in the opposite direction! How dare you bring up One Direction?!
Do you need to let off steam? Why don’t you beat something?
What?
Beat deez nuts!
Can I beat you up instead?
How good is your Spanish? What is the ellos/ellas form of the verb sacar?
Sacan?
Sacan deez nuts!
That’s a Spanish green mind you have!
Guess what Bruce Jenner doesn’t want to have anymore?
What?
Deez nutz!
Am I evil for thinking this is funny?
I can’t believe they have been together for 40 years!
Who?
Deez nuts!
Yes, that’s a good thing! It’s good to have two after all these years.
Do you drive a Dodge?
No.
Ok. Try dodging deez nuts!
I’m running away now while riding my trusty Toyota.
Do you know Kenya?
Who’s Kenya?
Kenya fit deez nuts in your mouth?
No, thanks! I don’t want to know about Kenya!
Have you seen Barry?
No.
Barry deez nuts!
Why don’t you bury your nuts yourself?
Tell Eileen.
Eileen who?
I’ll lean back so you can see deez nuts!
No need to make the effort!
Have you seen Dr. Botha?
Who’s Dr. Botha?
Botha deez nuts in your mouth!
That’s what you’d like to see! Keep on dreaming!
Go sit on that.
Sit on what?
Sit on deez nuts!
Okay, if you say so!
Have you met my friend Phillip?
Phillip who?
Phillip on deez nuts!
Flipping on deez nuts isn’t what I had in mind!
Excuse me but do you like pudding?
Yes, of course.
Well, how about pudding deez nuts in your mouth?
That’s not the pudding I was talking about!
Do you want candy?
Yes.
Can deez nuts hit your face?
Why? Why would you want to do that?
Do you like dreaming?
Yes.
Dream about deez nuts!
No, I don’t dream about your nuts!
Are you leaving?
Leaving what?
Leaving deez nuts in your mouth!
I’m walking away now.
What’s your favorite brand of donuts?
I like Dunkin’ Donuts.
I’ll be dunkin’ deez nuts in your mouth!
I changed my mind. I love Krispy Kreme after all!
Do you like tulips?
Yes.
Because you’re going to love your two lips on deez nuts!
No, thanks. I prefer the flowers!
